Jhumpa Lahiri’s story showed the internal hardships that one faces when growing up in a place where you look different from everybody else. It not only shows the cultural difference between her and her parents, since they were raised in an Indian household, and how she has become “Americanized” because she is raised in America but also the confusion of not knowing where she fits in. She looks Indian and acts American in her parent’s point of view but is Indian in her peers’ point of view so naturally there is another conflict on whether to seek her parent’s acceptance or that of her peers. This, I believe, is what affects her will to write. In the beginning of the story, when she was younger, upon discovering the fact that she was different from everybody (at least in appearance) drove her to write in order to have a common ground with the other students in her class: “When I began to make friends, writing was the vehicle […] [it] was less a solitary pursuit than an attempt to connect with others.” During her teen years when insecurities are usually at their peek it lead her to not only reject herself but to quit writing all together. I see the direct correlation between her internal strife and her interest in writing. While writing she finds that it is a safe-haven from all her insecurities and worries, a place when no-one will cast stones and judge based on race or social status or gender but only by what is written. When writing she no longer has to dwell on whether she should act Indian or American in order to gain acceptance but only focuses on the fact that she is a writer.
I agree with Mark in the fact that a lot of what contributes to her insecurity is her inability to completely fit in wherever she is. She feels torn from the culture inside her home and the culture outside the door. When she embraces the American culture she immediately feels as though she is betraying her parents by doing so. Even though I’ve never had to deal with “identifying” myself in this way, I can only imagine how taxing it would be on one’s self esteem. I’ve known friends that have had the same internal struggle that Lahiri had, and a lot of them are still going through it. When she describes her dormant years of writing, I was completely drawn in because as a music student, I too had dealt with the incessant internal doubt to feel adequate. Lahiri writes, “My insecurity was systemic, and preemptive, insuring that, before anyone else had the opportunity, I had already rejected myself.” When I got to college, this is exactly what I went through as a performer, and it almost broke me. I think Lahrir was very close to never becoming a writer, and that would have been a shame because the only person who was standing in her way was herself. I’m glad I read this memoir because its nice to know that people can overcome themselves and turn out to be very successful individuals.
ReplyDeleteThe beginning of the story reminded me of the childhood movie Matilda when she's growing up and consumes every book she can get her hands on, including magazines. For Lahiri, this obsession with books later turns into an obseesion with writing. She writes about how she started to steal small things to indulge her habit, such as the blank notebooks in her teacher's supply closet. For a little kid this shows how much passion she had even then for writing. The section where she talks about what being a writer means and why at first she didn't think she could do it is written it seems for all of the struggling writers and storytellers. She backs up the notion that our strongest enemy is ourselves. I liked that in the end of the story, despite the identity struggle that she has faced being raised as a first generation American, she found a home in her writing and refused to let go of either of her identities.
ReplyDeleteMark makes a good point about the writer's insecurity. The narrative reminded me of Sandra Cisneros and her struggle to become equal in both cultures. It is hard to find yourself when you're different from your piers, but I think it makes it harder when you are trying to fit into a culture that is different from what your parents are.
ReplyDeleteI also enjoyed the way the author started writing at an early age. I found it very amusing how she became a "criminal" by pilfering notebooks from the teacher's closet. It is interesting to me how this is a vivid memory for her.
I was surprised that her father was not more supportive of her writing. I also thought that it was funny that her mom called it clinical writing.
I am glad that this author found her voice and pursued a writing career and found herself in the process.